(When The World Comes) Crashing Down

Every day I wake up,
I go to work and I try.
I try to be normal,
To smile and make an effort.

"Every thing is fine" I say,
"I'm a happy person."
Burying my emotions,
Just to survive the day.

There is a secret that lies beneath this facade,
I live for the day the world comes crashing down.

The weekend comes,
I retreat to my room.
Overrun with emotions,
Tears burst forth.

My world is ending,
Its all too much.
Nothing to live for,
I give into the darkness.

The alarm sounds, time to go to work again,
to wait for the day the world comes crashing down...

Empaths Prison (I Feel)

I feel your joys,

The little happy thoughts.

I feel your anger,

The words you never meant to say.

I feel your love,

The lasting looks and smiles that shine.

I feel your sorrow,

The tears you try to hide.

I feel you,

everything inside.

I fly with you and fall,

Trapped on an emotional roller coaster…

I feel mostly sadness,

from a world of tear stained cheeks.

trapped in this prison I drown

In these tears I did not cry…

Time

The Past haunts my mind,

Draining my soul.

Weighing down on me,

Crushing me from within…

The Present rushing before me,

Avalanches of events.

Overwhelming my defenses,

Crushing me from without…

The Future crumbles before me,

Slipping between my fingers.

The light fades on my path,

I stumble and fall short…

Out of time, out of luck.

Drifting through emptiness.

No sanctuary, no company,

The end of all things…

Waiting for Someday

staring out the window,

watching for you.

hours pass,

still waiting…

always waiting in others shadows,

out of sight, left behind.

second best,

second choice.

knife in the back,

gilded lies in the ears.

these signs ignored by hope,

maybe someday…

years pass,

smiles weaken.

embraces soften,

waiting still…

tears have dried,

wounds have scarred.

pain accustomed. 

soul burdened.

still waiting…

still hoping…

torture masked,

to safeguard your happiness.

waiting for someday…

someday love matched…

someday loyalty returned…

Lost

Lost...

Here and there.

In thought and in silence.

Lost...

In my own mind.

In a world of hate.

Lost...

In the cold and the night

In the fear and pain

Lost...

Causes and futures

Rights and freedom

Lost...

Beast without Beauty

Disfigured, ugly, twisted,

Cursed by shadow.

Pained, burdened, tortured,

Physical reflects spiritual.

Love, joy, kindness,

Locked away in darkness.

Regret, hatred, sorrow,

Dominates the heart.

Searching, wishing, longing,

For that which is absent.

Friend, lover, companion,

One that holds the key.

Eternal Fate

In the darkness, surrounded by Shadows.
I lie in fitful sleep…

I hear, faint and slow, the beating of hope.
Some where out there, a heart beats out a harmony to my own...

I feel, soft and gentle, a pulse of calm.
It flows through everything, clearing the discordant chaos…

I see, warm and illuminating, a twinkle of light.
It reveals the pathway through the dark and treacherous night…

Reverberating throughout my soul, I know she calls out to me…
Her song awakens my existence,

I struggle to move, to break the black bonds…
I crawl forward… only to collapse…
Weakened by years of numbing pain… muscles atrophied…

The Shadows pull me back, I plummet into my prison of gloom…
Dark clouds conceal the beacon… My senses fail, no sight, no touch, no sound…

I scream into the dark… I succumb to my eternal fate...

Lost

You dug your way in,

Under flesh, into the soul.

You stayed a while,

Made yourself at home.

From inside you created,

entwined our hearts with love.

Forever changed,

Yours to the end.

On darkened night,

You fled.

Ripped out our love,

I bled.

Left with out farewell,

Left a darkened hole.

Black, bleeding, burning,

Inside my soul.

Pain and darkness,

Engulfed my existence.

Cocooned, i changed,

one with emptiness.

Silent and unseen,

I travel the night.

Shadow to shadow,

out of sight.

Searching for you,

for love now lost.

For eternity,

All is lost…

Dreams...

DREAMS

Once warm and full of life,

Now broken and scarred.

Filled with pain,

Suffering.

All the happiness,

Lost to despair.

Filled with longing,

Memories.

Your smiling face,

Now darkened.

Filled with hate,

Rejection.

Eternal anguish,

inescapable fate.

Filled with sorrow,

Torment.

Despairing dreams,

The last connection.

Filled with love,

….Forever Lost….

Left Behind

I watched you turn your back,

you never saw me stumble and fall…

I watched you lie in another's embrace,

you never saw me wish it was mine...

I watched you live, laugh and love,

you never saw me wither and die…

I watched you smile,

you never saw my tears…

I watched you leave me behind,

you never saw me ever again…

Till The End

Until the world ends

All I see is you

Until the world ends

Haunted by you

Until the world ends

Surrounded by you

Until the world ends

I'll carry this pain

Until the world ends

I'll burn inside

Until the world ends

Our love incinerates

Until the world ends

There is only you

Until the world ends

I walk alone 

Until the world ends

I'll miss you…

Empty

In the darkest hour of night,

I sit in a lonely corner.

Wondering how bright life could have been,

If we had never parted ways.

You were everything,

Now I am nothing.

An empty shell,

Never to be filled again.

Rainfall

Let the rain fall down,

Wash away the makeup.

Show the pain, Show the scars,

Fade the dreams that were made up.

Let the rain fall down,

Show the world what we're made of.

Wash away the happy colors,

Leave the deadly, dark love.

Let the rain fall down,

Flood the world with tears.

Drowning in our sorrow,

We will see our real fears.

Let the rain fall down,

Warmth fleeing, nightfall.

Left cold and alone,

To feel this Soul's Squall.

The Watcher

High on the roof tops, under the pouring rain.  Watching the world pass by below.  His realm is your darkest dreams.  Always at the back of your mind.  Like the shadow cast behind you from a street lamp.  Blending into shadows. Unseen, unheard.  Like your fear, he can only be felt.  Watching over you as your go about your way.  Watching over you as you sleep.  Always, Forever, your silent guardian.

Lover's Dance

Limbs intertwined
In lover's embrace.
Bodies glistening
With heat of passion.
Flesh melting
In ecstatic release.
Body and soul
Combined for an eternity.
Voices resound
To the dance of Night.


(This was quite different from my normal stuff.  I wrote it for a friend who didn't believe I could write something descriptive on the chosen topic...)

Thoughts

Purpose in this life is still an elusive concept for me.  I struggle with understanding everything that goes on around me, constantly wondering when the good things will show up.  The past continually haunts me, the future continually worries me, leaving the present a constant headache...  I just want to find that one ray of light that clears the fog and lets me find the peace of mind I desire.  That gives me purpose and a sense of belonging...

Unfinished Work #1

I see a figure on the ground, broken and battered.  Nearly lifeless, twisted in pain.  Only the Gods know what kind of hurt this soul has endured...  Slowly this tortured soul struggles to stand.  After a few shaky moments, its back straightens and head lifts.  The eyes turn towards me, strength flashes behind them...


(This is not finished yet...)

Birthdays...

Another year is past and done.
Full of pain and Lovers gone.
How many more must be endured?
Before this broken body is interred...

Weather

The rain falls, the wind blows.
The lightning strikes, the thunder rolls.
The coming storm pales, against the tempest in my soul.

Tears

As tears of fire fall from the sky,
I stand alone to face the coming storm...
Looking over the remains of the fallen,
I wonder if it was worth this...
Sadness weighs heavy on my back,
Hopeless is this struggle for life...
I fall to my knees,
And weep my final tears...

The End

I have a dream… Every night it's the same…

I see myself standing in all the beautiful places of the earth simultaneously. I see cities, mountains, deserts, oceans, tundras; all blending one into the other. As I stand there marveling at these scenes, I notice a dark cloud on the horizon. I can see it moving quickly towards me, growing bigger, more violent. Soon its a gigantic storm racing to blot out the sun. Pouring rain and blasts of lightning lash out at the earth…

As the shadow of the storm passes over these visions of beauty, each one in turn begins to wither and die… Animals fall over dead, plants turn brown, buildings begin to crumble, the ground itself dries up and begins to crack open…

I hear a noise, like a thousand nuclear bombs exploding at once… So deafeningly loud, it seems to come from with in the planet itself. The ground begins to shake and tremble violently. Fire and lava bursts out of all the cracks and large portions of the ground begin rising up. In a blinding flash of light, everything is thrown upwards into space… I feel excruciating pain shoot through out my entire being, like every single cell of body is burning rapidly…

…thats where the dream ends…
…Where everything ends…

Random Poem #6

This life has taken its toll,
Beaten me to submission.
On the ground I lay,
Vision blurred from tears.
Bruised and bloody,
broken by this war.
Strength has fled my body,
Darkness takes my life away.

Random Poem #5

With a dying breath, uttered a last regret...
A voice that falls only on the dust...
The dust of a lost life lived in sorrow...
The sorrow of a broken heart...

Pool of Sorrow

When the night falls, and the living seek their rest. I hear the whispers of the dead, they bid me to join them. I lay myself down in surrender, excepting their cold embrace. only to open my eyes to mornings first light. disappointment floods out of my eyes. to form a pool of sorrow.

Alone

An agonizing pain brings my mind out of the encroaching darkness... I look down at the burning wounds that riddle my body, each one caused at the hands of Loves lost. As my consciousness begins to fade, I realize this isn't how I thought it would be. Where was the bright light, the angelic fanfare from heaven, or even the heat and flames of hell? There is nothing but the coming darkness. The drip-dripping of the sticky fluid oozing out of my body. The stuttering of my heart as it tries to pump more of the same fluid in a desperate attempt to keep me alive... As my vision fades to black, my heart turns silent, I realize that my whole life was just as lonely as my dying breath, Floating off on the gentle breeze, to rest among the lies of the sunny clouds...

Random Poem #4

Wind blowing through an open window.
A deck of cards blowing off a table.
One by one they land below.
How they land I cannot tell.
Will it be a straight flush?
Or better to just fold?
Only time will reveal.
The winners and the losers.

The End

The fires of my heart died out long ago...
Running off the residual heat, I've lived in this world of pain...
The heat and passion are gone now...
My heart is numb and frozen now...
The only pain now is the frostbite...
Even that is infinitely better...
The End has come for me...
But Death won't touch me...
Forced to walk the land of the living...
I hide in the shadows...
Dead and alone...

As The Snow Falls

As the snow falls
Softening light and sound

The out side reflecting the in
Hearts become ice
Eyes Becoming mirrors

Storms begin to rage
Nights grow long
Often are the thoughts
When two once were one

Feelings freeze
All becomes dark
Light is lost
Love is distant
Snow is my world

My Madness

Inside my mind there is a barren wasteland. Snow and rocks cover the landscape as far as the eye can see. The sky is always dark, covered by a perpetual snow storm. Fierce winds tear through the sky, stinging sleet and snow peirce my flesh like spears. This place is devoid of all life. I walk endlessly around in circles, unable to find a way out. There is no end...

Shadows move around me. Always lingering at the edge of my vision. I catch glimpses of events, faces, Eyes... All from the past. They haunt me like a bad dream. I can never get away from them. They follow me where ever I go. I try to run... But its of no use, they follow tirelessly... floating around like wisps of cloud.

Exhausted, I collapse into the snow. The shadows watch me, always at the edge of sight. The Eyes peirce my soul, burning through out me. I scream in pain, but the sound just dies on the wind... I pass into unconciousness as the snow begins to cover my body... Encasing me in a cold, icy prison. Trapping me for eternity under the gaze of those Eyes, those beautiful brown Eyes...

This Half-Life Misery

Long are the days, dark and filled with gloom.
My heart is frozen, locked and doomed.

No happiness, nor joy is felt.
Cold as ice that cannot melt.

Love is gone, that once burned.
nothing left, never to return.

Twisted and ugly, miserable and cold..
Hope is useless, wasted on this soul.

Darker days it seems, will always live in me.
There is nothing left for me...

Random Poem #3

Pain...
That is my existance, it fills me up and tears me apart from the inside out...
Suffering...
That is my curse, forever will it be my companion...
Fear...
That was my choice, the one that started it all...
Past...
That is my burden, weighing me down for eternity...
Empty...
That is my state, warm feelings absent, cold remains...
Alone...
That is my future, lacking the courage to change it...
Dead...
That is the moment, the only one that matters, where peace shall be attained...
Darkness...
That is the comfort, the only place I call home...

The Lost Road

I've been walking down this road for way to long...

Holding tightly to faded memories...

Longing for what could have been...

I've been losing myself little by little...

I don't know who I am any more...

Darkness clouds my vision, muffles all sounds...

I've walked with death on this road...

Danced on the fine line between Life and Death...

My memories are the only thing that kept me going...

Faded and torn now, I see the mistakes...

Now I'm climbing back up...

But I'm in so deep...

My road is lost in time...

My road is long...

I pray I'll live to see an end...

To this long, Lost Road...

Living Dead

Forever did we promise,
Goodbye you then did bade...

One fateful day You turned your back,
The Beating then did fade...

Your face Haunts my restless nights,
These dreams sustain the Heart now still...

Of waking moments spent Longing,
And Agonizing breaths, I've had my fill...

The Darkness in which I walk,
My only Companion through these years...

My curse, this living Death,
Is not enough to end these Tears...

My Rhyme...

>Pain, pain, go away,
Come again another day!

Pain, Pain, here to stay,
Night forever, no more day!

Pain, pain, I'm insane,
Things will never be the same!

Changing

...doctor says it's spreading... Soon it will be out of control, beyond operation... Soon I'll be one of THEM... ...like they could have removed the darkness staining my soul... I never believed them anyways... Now I wait for when it takes over completely... The fits of madness are already getting worse... I overheard someone talking in the hall... Another hour or two and it will be complete... I suppose the only thing left to do is to embrace it... Sleep in fear tonight... YOUR DARK ANGEL HAS COME!!!

Random Poem #2

So many faces stare from the depths of my memory...
Threatening to drag me under...
In my eyes, all life is shadowed with death...
How can I live? Seeing what I can see...
No more life, no joy, no hope, only death and decay...

Random Poem #1

Heavy is the weight of the life I live.
The chill of depression seeps into my bones...
My back is breaking; numb, I don't feel a thing.
Defeated, my corpse settles amongst the stones...